I am writing from “The Fort”. I’m here in Texas for my friend’s wedding. I got in yesterday for the bachelorette party. We went to dinner and then to Pete’s Piano Bar. Many memorable moments. But today, my Gigi friend told me about moments in our lives when we feel infinite. And I know what she means. When it happens for me, it feels like I sort of step away from myself and see me in the moment. Like a part of consciousness sees it from an arial perspective. It happened at Pete’s.
The second-story bar was smoky, but spacious with small tables crowded around the stage. Two pianos faced each other, drums behind them and a fiddle hanging on the wall. The players “dueled” and took turns accompanying each other, hopping off the piano bench and taking up the drumsticks, and back again. These musicians were incredible. Their whole bodies moved across the instruments, the smoke in the room lifted with the notes they sent up, and we all swayed in time. There was not a speck of written music in the place, but they played every requested song as if they had authored it themselves.
Perhaps more than any other gift, I am in awe of performing talent. I felt the same way when I saw Lion King performed on Broadway. Doing what they love, they can bring so much unnameable magic and life to their audience.
But my infinite moments are always, always accompanied by some sadness. Sadness because I know the moment isn’t really endless. It will be over and the feeling will leave with it. Sadness because I know I’ll never be a dueling piano player or a Broadway actress. My own gifts seem so boring in comparison. And so… un-share-able. I’m not sure I can give to them, through intellect or insight, what they give me through performance.