Overheard

“I want to have an mpd party.  We’ll it’s not a party, but we’ll get together and stuff envelopes.”

Seeing Clearly

I think that anyone who is bored doesn’t have their eyes open.  Or their ears.  There is no shortage of things to do, ever.  The nature of my job is that the work is never done, so I have to prioritize and choose where I give my time.  I must also learn when to say, “That is enough for today.”

Sometimes I think about the boundaries that I need to put in place to lead a rhythmic, healthy life.  I think about the things I should say “no” to.  This weekend, someone reframed the questions for me:  What must I say “yes” to in order to be faithful to God’s call on my life?

Right now, I understand God’s call on my life to involve two things:
1.  To love Him with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind and will all my strength; and to love my neighbor as myself.
2.  To know and value the unique identity He has given me, and to offer that each morning that I wake up.

Some things I must say yes to:
– discipleship time with Janet. I will not miss this time each week.
– curriculum development project for Destino
– loving my team
– writing daily
– reading daily
– letting my roots grow down deep with a few friends, near and far

Briefly–

The fascinating thing is this: that there are worlds beneath the ground I walk on every single day.

a soul

and what a soul is
I believe we will never quite know
though we play at the edges of knowing

I’ve written before about that poem, and today I’m thinking about what my soul might look like.  I believe it might be like this rose, with pink tips, a glowing white center, and layers and layers of petals, each complicated and imperfect.  It is, at least, most like a flower because the general motion of my life has been unfolding.  Not onward or downward, not a spiral or a flight, but an unfolding.

When a rose blooms, she gives more–more fragrance, more color, more beauty–and she receives more from the world around her–heat, insects, lingering fingers and noses pressing in to breathe in her loveliness.

I hear my walls crumble and I feel my petals unfolding, like muscles relaxing.  I believe this is good.  I am surprised to find vulnerability so sound.  I want to keeping going.  I will trust this process because my eyes are captured by Who they see.

Timing

All around me, things call for my attention and they want it now.  Not just my attention, but my action.  My production of something great.  The call of urgency keeps me living paycheck to paycheck, deadline to deadline.

a prophet once said,

in repentance and rest you will be saved

in quietness and trust is your strength

Most that is good and true takes time.  A perfect omelet requires slowness and gentleness.  A heart that grows into leadership is unshakable.  The crock pot beats the microwave every time.  A conversation that is allowed to linger ripens into honey.

I am okay with letting things take their course.  I will have patience.  I will not try to fast forward into an unearned future.  I will let my life linger in many ordinary moments and painful stages because of the promise of sweetness.